to not know you

to not know you
has been easy
to not know you
has left all that undone
untouched

did you drown in that bottle
did you walk away
to not know you
has been easy

do you cry
any tears
ever
even during the rain
ever

to not know you
has been easy

now
with children of my own
how
can you
could you have
did you
leave
with so few words
and last attempts

to not know you
has been easy

watching young hopes
mine and theirs
all ones you have not seen
to not know you
has been easy

to not know you
has been easy

having any pulse
on what has been missed
on if there has been loss
or gain
is not

to not know you
has been easy

and is
a continuation
and lasting symptom

of what I learned best
to let things be
to leave
to not react

to not know you
has been easy
and is
to not start
to not build
to not resolve

and is
too often my way
in many of my lives

to not know you
to take the easy ways
in too many things
and at too many times

has been easy

another drink

another drink
another playful dream
drowned in the making

another drink
stress relieved
only so I take it in ...
again and again
over and over
instead of dressing the wounds

another drink
another ounce gone
of my optimistic child wonder
for all the good
around this world

another drink
and bed is easier to settle with

another drink
and while it all works less
my ambition is fit to match

another once could have been
gone

red eye

a red eye
and tired lungs
turn over in bed
to get a better breath
and look at the last dream
now skipped from memory
with only a few fleeting rems
resinged
to my relativity
a spec
still dreaming
but doing little else

today

today
I have dreams
I have wings
I have a kite
and a string long enough to get there
but I can't find a breeze
to give away the wind's location

I can't float a leaf an inch off course
as I drop it to the ground

slack tide
responds to swimming with opposing current
treading water
willing to take past scenery over stagnate
goes still again

in circles
without direction

today
i have dreams
i have wings

I am ready
but waiting for something
that I am not sure I should

11-4

breaking in new shoes
walking in new light
even in the dwindling hours
we get in autumn
today is spring

Today is spring
breaking in new shoes
we are walking forward again
we are walking together

so many great tears
and open hands
collectively outpouring

this time will live
this time is
forever
great memories made

today is spring
even on this November day
the sun rose not noticing the clouds
there are still a few I know
but for a moment
I could feel
the billions of smiles
looking ahead
taking steps
and being proud
in something
so long withheld
the fire for a day
is back in more hearts than I can hear
spring is here
creating
feeding
standing together than at odds
we can

tectonics

tectonics
of soul
and mind
and circumstance
puling me
squashing me
abduction
and subduction
remaking me

my worst
moments squeeze out
new juice
to stir me to new creations
the calmest days
and seas
are actually the strongest poison

yet I let them in the door
like welcome guests

the energy to evaluate
to question
non-existent
when they
the calm seas
and stale days
come

but they only roll me into
new flats
now no getting anywheres
tectonics
of mood
stable for years
equal
and gentle
give and take
and then a day comes
that breaks your back

the plates slip
and un-pre-directed
energy grabs the arms and legs
and you walk anew

dark time

today
we celebrate
the darkness
those gone
those that made us
those that we love
and those that we fear

the clocks tick back
we pause
the heat and sunburns
of summer a memory now

we fill the void with
sugar and chocolate
and grab excitement however we can
in stories of ghosts
and all things made of shadows

today
we celebrate
waiting
and reflecting
staring into the dark
and looking for the whispers
still reaching across

we build tributes
and altars
carve prized gourds
looking for the design
that scares the scary
and welcomes our long lost
or worst just gives us here
a smile

the glow of candles is magical
even in and of themselves
offered intent and purpose
and they light up
with out destroying the spirit
of moment and place
that we find ourselves in this time of year

the wheel feels slower
but I think it's just my eyes
emotion enhances and taketh
my rational thought
all at the same time

the darkness
is here
the clocks tick back
the wind kisses cold
with gleeful crispness

until spring
I slowly re-grow
regroup refine
waiting to reemerge

to somewhere

sweet freesia
and narcissus
tarnished
with nicotine
you can dress
a pig, yourself, or your king
but still they'll be best
at their worst
when this is how we judge
and live
and reward
where's all the honor gone
was it ever richer
than the words
or the pockets of those
that profess their mastery of it
sweet road
to somewhere
please find me
I given up
some lesser vices
and keep the best
to balance my brighter points
and I think
the world is just
dancing
the same old moves

here and yet to be

look
ahead
and I see
fog and yet to be

and feel
there is here
and more of so many things we do
and fight for that are on the 52nd floor
when the ground is sinking
and barely patched together

we can't even stretch out arms
to reach one another in need
and yet we fight over protecting every last seed
over the needs of the stems
and roots and mud that already are

the future
will be ruble
if we don't lay down today
the corner stones
and turn to what builds us the most

I see problems
that need time
to fade and solve themselves

that slow medicine of time
and new minds
over blood
and the minds of today
that change only so fast

yet some leaps occur
and we are on the stage
ready for this
this jump into our brilliant future

our success
is going
to take both and all between
look ahead
and see