chance

the treasure
has no chance
in the suburban
maze

all trying to be the same
or purposely and destructively
standing out

what
were we trying
to achieve

is a dream really yours
in the heart
if shared so widely

I can't maintain such passion
in those circumstances
can't more than flow
in such a pool

but finding the way
to tread
the current
just right
to not lose what I had
and to get what I can become

this is the struggle
that eats me down to a blubbering
apologetic
noncommittal
buffoon
worse than when I left the race

I apologize and ask
forgiveness
and preface
everything so far
anything I start is already a day
closer to its death
at the start

but I am getting there
finding a start
finding a way back
to waht I started
a decade ago